reasons why you should date me
i’ll make you a sandwich
i have amazing taste in music
i’m too ugly to cheat
i have no friends so i can spend lots of time with you
i have netflix
People in glass houses should not throw stones…
or masturbate during the day time.
|—||Bo Burnham (via draperisawesome)|
i know i’ve said this before but i’m seriously so in love with bo burnham like you don’t understand
This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.
We don’t have kids.
We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.
Why can’t people be really fucking spontaneous more often. Like why don’t people get on buses in the middle of the night to see someone or call them and say what they feel exactly how they feel it. It’s all fucking mundane shit, trying to keep your cool, playing hard to get, hinting and confusing signals ugh I hate it
Of course I always end up needing to talk to someone when everyone goes the fuck to sleep god dammit it seems like every time 3 am rolls around I just start crying for no reason and I can’t stop and I realize that literally nobody needs me around for any reason and idk I just wish I could text someone like I used to but I don’t have anyone that would wanna listen to my stupid shit and I should probably try to sleep but I can’t I just fucking can’t