✿Esskeetit✿

its funny when events that probably couldve been traumatic dont bother you so you’ll end up casually dropping stuff like “so after that time i almost got lost at sea as a kid-” and theyll be like WHAT and youre like. oh yeah dont worry its just part of my lore. its honestly not even a top five interesting backstory moment. focus please.

squidsmeister:

something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

ifdragonscouldtalk:

ifdragonscouldtalk:
Could yall stop shooting each other outside my window im trying to masturbate
So this was actually the sound of my car getting stolen

helllshound:

wavnexttimedotcom:

06/16/16

pyrrhiccomedy:

pyrrhiccomedy:
when my shelter cat passes by me, he pauses for a second, and looks up. He is waiting for me to lean down, and touch my hand against his side, so that when he keeps walking, my hand skims across his fur. he doesn’t really need attention. he has his own thoughts and plans. but after more than a year of living in our home, he has come to expect a moment of kindness whenever he crosses my path. if I don’t do it, he will follow me. “where is your hand?” he asks, with his plaintive and impatient eyes. I give it to him. he bumps against it like a balloon before wandering away. this is a poem to me
This post has gone so much further than I expected it to. This is my sweet cat. His name is Eddie Potato.

chayawaxman:

the vibe i bring to the function

bronzetomatoes:

ALT
Cannot even fault them for that that’s funny as fuck

anatthema-art:

inspired by a friend misspeaking

cherryfleischer:

sudanese-deactivated20250510:

kushblazer666:

and they say white people can’t cook